The Cruising Life: Women’s Perspectives. Part 15: Let’s Talk About Sex

Okay, another thing I’m sure other women wonder about, did the change in routine, close quarters, complete change in lifestyle and environment have an effect on your sex life? How so? Any tips for keeping the love life healthy onboard? Today’s answers are all listed as anonymous for obvious reasons Smile Although most of these tips can fit any lifestyle, I’m sure we can all agree there is something a little different when it comes to cruising full-time.

How has the Cruising Lifestyle Affected Your Sex Life?

  Sex is even better, as more leisurely. Advice: take full advantage of sunshine and warm water.

Anonymous: Yes – wonderfully so. We had a great relationship before, it just more of a possibility now, less distractions, more opportunities. I cruise with my sweetheart, so that’s a big bonus.

  Sometimes I think it has made it better, and sometimes worse. Clearly, you lose any mystery you still retained in the small confines of a boat. It’s hard to pull off any type of surprise for one another. But you can go to bed as early as you want. 😉

Your favorite positions may be harder or impossible depending on your boat’s configuration, and the heat can make sex just unappealing. My only advice would be to ask for what you want or need, bluntly because guys generally don’t do hints, and to be as kind and understanding with each other as possible.

Anonymous: I’m not sure its really the cruising life that’s the problem. I think its just our age. There are physical difficulties happening and I find myself frustrated because now that we finally have time, its rarely happening. I don’t know what to do to fix it and I’m afraid to bring it up. I don’t even know how to talk about the subject with him.

Anonymous:  LOL….Our silly game is: Make sure you “do it” once in every country you visit! 🙂 This gets a lot more fun as you get past the BVI and island hopping means a new country each time! I guess in the Bahamas it would have to be each island. 😉

On a more serious note: I wouldn’t say that it’s affected the frequency, but it has changed the logistics. The cruising life has separated our sleeping quarters. It is too stinkin’ hot to be in one bed together, and for the sake of a good night’s sleep we find that separate berths work for us. But we have conjugal visits! So it’s definitely different than living on land and going to bed every night together. But then again, walking around the boat naked almost all the time is a major plus that didn’t happen in our land life, and offers plenty of opportunity for spontaneity!

Sex life is so much harder when it’s HOT!!! You don’t want to be touched or to touch each other when it’s hot outside all day! If you’re not plugged in with AC sex can be hard and not very enticing. We decided that for the month of September we would go into a marina to jump start the sex life! It’s sad but true and brutally honest. Trying to conserve water and trying not to immediately sweat after a shower is nearly impossible during summer months so be prepared for HOT spots during your cruising periods & less sexual attraction.

Anonymous:  We have much more time for sex, have sex daily, a great way to start the day!!!

Anonymous: I feel like maybe if we had A/C in  the heat of the summer it would have made a difference. I really wish I’d have pushed to wait until we could get A/C before I agreed to go.

Anonymous: It has improved. We have the whole day and night to do it and don’t have outside pressures of work or normal life to lessen our libidos. When we have passengers aboard, we have fun finding ways to sneak off and have sex. The sex lasts longer and is more passionate. My advice is to be creative and to get out of the routine of morning and night sex.

Anonymous: Avoid getting sand in certain places. Sandpaper and chafing might sound like sexy terms, but trust me, they’re not. Either be very careful about the blankets, or find a nice low hanging sturdy branch on a tree (make sure its solid enough, too… nothing would ruin the fun like a branch breaking in the middle of things) also, put a towel over it, you don’t want splinters just as much as you don’t want sand.

Anonymous: We have to make it work. I think we started to get into a rut of routine and started taking each other for granted. We just got in the habit of a day doing our thing, hanging out in the evenings with a drink in the salon or on deck and then we were just too tired. The heat doesn’t help, but for us, I think it just has to be something we actually put attention on.

Sex has never been better in my life, we were amazing together – we had sex every day, sometimes twice a day except if on passage. Cockpit sex the most connected loving sex ever!! I loved him….. get yourself a man you love and who loves you in return!

Anonymous:  What affected our rampant sex life was having a radical hysterectomy! The elephant in the room…get second and other opinions.

Some days are soooo hot and sweaty I don’t even want to look at him. And then on some days it’s nice and breezy and we make up for all the missed time. The v berth has hindered my style a little, I enjoy being on top. But our L shaped setee pulls out to make a full bed so we have named it the love nest and a lot of our love happens there. I really do miss having a regular bed. And even though I hated the cold I did love to snuggle in blankets with my lover but now it’s so hot we rarely snuggle.

Editors Note:

A lot of cruising women were awesome enough to contribute to this blog series about women who are living/lived the cruising life. Whether they’ve been cruising for 6 months or 30 years, these are the perspectives of various women from different parts of the world. I know I’m already learning from their stories, I hope you can learn something new as well! I’ll be posting a question from this series every Wednesday and Friday for the 10 week series, so keep an eye out for our posts! The topics range in topic from typical cruising questions, to more personal anonymous stories that might make you feel like you’ve met a kindred spirit.

If you are a current or former cruising woman and would like to contribute to future posts, please email me at with the subject line “Cruising Questions from Byn” and I’ll send you the list of questions. Answer as many as you like and return with a few photos and I’ll add your contribution as we go

See the other posts in this series:

Part 1: What Makes it Worth it?

Part 2: What Would You do Differently?

Part 3: What has been your most surprising experience?

Part 4: Where Would You Revisit?

Part 5: What is Your Favorite Physical Activity Onboard?

Part 6: What were the biggest struggles for you in your first year? How did you deal with them to get through?

Part 7: What Technology is Essential for You?

Part 8: What is your best piece of advice for people who are getting ready to take off on a cruising adventure?

Part 9: What has been your scariest moment?

Part 10: Budget Friendly Tips?

Part 11: Best Social Media Tips?

Part 12: Your Best Life Hacks for the Boat

Part 13: Your Favorite Photo

Part 14: How Did Cruising Affect Your Marriage/Relationship?

Part 15: Let’s Talk About Sex