About 7-8 years ago I went looking for a couch for our new-to-us tiny ass living room. I’m not talking store shopping, I’m talking ‘I need a couch for $50 or less’ kind of budget shopping. That’s right, I’m talking yard sales.
The girls and I drove all around town looking for a garage sale that would have a non-ugly couch. Something that wasn’t a combination of grandma-floral or 70’s rust orange plaid, but a couch that could at least live in a small room and not make you want to gouge your eyes out whenever you walk into the room.
We spent hours and saw nothing even resembling a good couch. I’m not sure if we even saw any couches at all. We were all getting tired, hungry and cranky, so we decided to head home.
Wouldn’t you know it, about 2 1/2 miles from home there was a fund raiser type sale in a store parking lot… and sitting right there in front was a white love seat. Now of course, this being a fundraiser and a $20.00 couch, the definition of “white” may be a slight exaggeration. However, it appeared to be mostly white and it was smaller than a regular sized couch, so it wouldn’t swallow our entire living room. Since it fell well within my budget and size limitations, it was obviously meant to be our couch. The girls and I loaded up the cushions and strapped the couch onto the top of our car and slowly made our way home on the bumpy, dust filled gravel roads.
In our last house on land, that couch sat in my room. It was my favorite place to work, with my laptop on the arm of the couch and me all curled up in the corner of that most fabulously comfortable cushion with a view of my wonderfully colorful room.
My favorite memories of this couch, though, above all the other things were the conversations that it got to overhear. This was the place where my kids would come to talk to me about things, ask my advice or just hang out. This is where I heard about my sons first girlfriend-to-be and later the questions about relationships and doubts and love. This is where I got to discuss boyfriends and best friends, siblings and life plans. Where we talked about school and home and life dreams and plans.
The place where Kainan first showed me the stupidly-genius hilarity of “BadMan” on youtube. Kainan is one of those people whose laugh is so infectious that you come away wondering if you were laughing more at the thing you had watched or just because Kainan was laughing so hard. Paris would come in and have me watch her newest youtube video to see what I thought. We’d all pile on the couch to watch the latest hilarity or weird music video (Get Down For What? thanks to Kainan’s friend Logan) or just hang out and talk about whatever was in the air.
All of my kids loved to talk through things. I don’t know if any of them have the same love for writing that I do, but they all definitely loved to talk and discuss just about anything. It was one of my favorite things about having my kids at home, just the casual sitting down and talking about everything. Or hell, nothing. Talking about Paris’ SIMs family was a riot. Jaedin could be telling stories about Tech and his Engineering classes and make it seem hilarious. It wasn’t even *just* my kids, but the kids friends who would come over and hang out in my room talking with the kids and me.
I love how we could have totally gut busting laugh out loud times or totally serious deep conversations, sometimes on the same afternoon.
I loved the late night conversations about whatever was going on in their lives.
Even Sprite, who lived elsewhere with her own little family came over to talk occasionally. We could sit for hours and talk about the baby, parenting, marriage, whatever.
Now I’m on the boat, sitting on my uncomfortable straight backed, poorly cushioned ‘couch’ in the salon, at the slightly too big table and I’m pretty much talking to myself. I’m stuck with facebook messenger for communicating, and while that’s certainly far better than it would have been 10 years ago, its still just not the same as being in the same room with my kids. Not to mention the fact that as I said, they’re all talkers, not writer’s/chat-types. So most of the time I just feel like I’m not staying in touch very much at all. At least I know that my kids are safe, healthy and happy. Growing up, moving on from childhood, dealing with their adult responsibilities and all that. I’m really happy for them, but DAMN, I really miss them!
No matter what else is going on, I still miss our talks on that couch. A LOT.
At least I still get to have my youngest at home, though (as soon as she gets back from land with her dad!). She even plays music for me every day! And Jaedin is still here until he leaves for college next month.
Okay, so maybe it isn’t really about the couch.
*The Couch isn’t very visible, but here it is in all of its former glory, piled high with my crazy awesome family back in 2011. (Photo credit: StewartMaddox Photography)